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*a black heart drowning in euphoria*

Posts tagged “unreadiness

Foul Way Of Love

(something written some years ago)
Duisburg

Wake up in breathless mourning glory
Cheat and blame the skies
Turn your back on the stunning light before you
Drift off and die.

The devil shows you a tease
So you go on and pry
Pretending it won’t hurt more to stain more
So you build up the gallows of your head with lies

Take the gray off the ashes
And let them burn again-
This is your foul way of love
Will anyone get it right?

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Tests For Bandages

There’s nothing wise in breaking a heart
Just to see how it would recover…
Should it recover…

There’s no reasonable reason for indifference
Just to hide how deeply one feels…
If one awarely feels…

The fear of rejection is what makes mankind
The worst deceivers of themselves…
And it differs from the need of acceptance…

So though there’s something deadly about living fully…
There’s nothing deadlier than every attempt to be unnatural
But to be urged to be unnatural is natural…


Kings and Cowards

Kings and cowards are both men
Not all men are kings
But all men are cowards to
Drastic emotional change

And muses veil corrections assaultingly
With the knives that glare off stabbing eyes
Blindedly perceiving pain
Upon the splattered truth from instinct acted on

And so sweet lovers err…
And so sweet lovers die…


Awarely Unaware

(Expressing for an anonymous friend)

I have proacted drama involuntarily, or so I say
Because my choices do not make me look good at all;
And Euthanasia disguised as Euphoria lays its stage,
Bringing forth all players in my head, all dressed as fools.
Their dialogues are noises, though one meaning they accord:
My fate is seared. I am not wanted. Please make it change!

…But I can never change her who
Had made me, at every second split,
Aware that I try to breathe
And aware that I’m unaware.


Need To Be One

I have aged and have become –
A mother without a child,
A wife unwed, without
a husband, but a groom I wish would be
And I am ready but
Not for this anomaly
Created by the scarcity
And unreadiness of another…

But I want us to engage matrimonially
Not because of my age, ascending…
Or my time, descending,
And patience wearing…
But because of these motions that render my blood red
And my heart doused by ferverous amity
I simply feel I must be one with you…
And live free.


This is also published in xyldrae.deviantart.com