*a black heart drowning in euphoria*

Posts tagged “positive outlook

Did You Know About Anchors?

(First Unfinished Draft and Middle Part)

Beautiful Souls

From a journey through layers from the ocean floor
We’ve smiled at its species, as we lovingly drawn close to their open doors…

Oh how man would give up his breaths,
To say hello to a clown in anemones…
And no matter how relentlessly expiring,
Life holds eternity in moments like these…

When I rose above the ocean water,
You were walking, satisfied, towards the shore.. .
My vision was still filtered and blurry
Yet I was magnificently seeing more…

Rain drizzled down enchantingly
On the calm and waveless sea…
It was bright and dim and dark all at the same time
In a moment of Life most sublime…

And as water kissed water
The sun couldn’t help but provide
A unique spotlight for every unique drop
And made the glow in your soul even more bright…
Suddenly, diamonds were dancing afloat,
Surrounding our humble family boat…
Their sparks froze such serene Settings in fleeting eternity
But the focus remained on the man Still walking slowly ahead of me…

Did you know,
That I see through your eyes and from my own?
It is a gift of gifts within me…
That you have sown and grown…


No Love That Can’t

No Love That Can't

I know no love apart from madness,
no love that can’t fear unspeakably and yet, still dare
I know no love without insurmountable woe,
No love that can’t hold exuberant eternity in a blink so mundane…

I know no love that can’t magically take last breaths for ages
just wanting so enthusiastically to be there…
I know no love not selfless;
No love that can’t meet death unshaken…

I know no love without phenomenal outcomes,
no love that actually ends…
I know no love that merely lasts
but love that creates instances of glorious eternity

I know no love that doesn’t hold Heaven.
I know no love that can’t.

* dedicated to my grandfather Pio Espineda
December 4, 1930 – September 11, 2013
and to all who love *


How Do You Take A Death?

How do you take a death,
When the weight of its pain
Brings you to your knees
And stabs you repeatedly
As you bleed through most sorrowful tears?

How do you take a death,
When its cold bludgeons you frozen
Makes you crawl to nowhere
In all your disbelief
When you try to justify Life’s loss…

…and find out there’s no Justice…
For an angel born in a new home, Heaven…

Do you question the Lord,
Do you blame Him for the choice of the cause
The mistakes, the circumstances,
The manner of death,
The suffering much less than you now have to endure?

Know there is justice….
For an angel born in a new home, Heaven…

Do not question the Lord…
If not to get answers.
You can not take a death…
Unless it is yours…

And you can live in honor
Of all the good your lost love have done alive
And you can live in respect
To all the wishes of our beloved departed…
Accepting an angel is born
In a better home we call Heaven…


If Darkness Is So Bad

Originally uploaded and copyrighted with credits for stock usage in xyldrae.deviantart.com and created for the “Scavenger Hunt” contest administered by the Intermediate-Manips group.

If darkness is so bad…
Why do we close our eyes when we pray…
Why as we become deeper
The further our visuals go away…
Is it not dark when we dream
And envision beyond what our eyes behold –
The sights that render us powerless
Against the worthy stories untold…

If darkness is so bad,
I dare you watch the stars in daylight
I dare you love less the sun…
I dare you keep your kisses to your sight
Don’t close your eyes when you make love
Gaze not at the twilight as it goes
Find no beauty in your favorite scenery
And imagine things without their shadows

If darkness is so bad,
What makes Light redeeming?
What heightens touch, what perfects sound
Why eyes are closed when soulfully singing?
If darkness is so bad,
I dare you, wish upon no shooting star
Pray only for what’s delighting.
Keep sane in continuous joys
Blind to the glory of overcoming.



The Real Battle

(Some lines were adapted in “Smile”, a song collaborated with three of the best rap artists in the Philippines. including my husband. This verse was also originally written as lyrics for an unfinished song.)

Slinging in the chambers of an empty mind
The devil smiles when he pries and he soothes with lies
They’re knocking on the cracks of your hollowed heart
Keep your grasp of the Truth, undeceived by dark
Conquer your ennui, perform a true deed
Shut down your judgement, let go of your greed
Be clinging to the good, be overpowering,
Hating on the bad that brings all suffering.

Get ready to battle your devils inside!
Get ready to battle the devils outside!!!
You’re ready to wipe out your devils inside…
You’re ready to wipe out the devil’s outside!

Anger is a gift, only if you overcome it
Miracles are common so believe it and behold it!
Realize all the lies until it’s no surprise
When all your haters have been unmasked before your weary eyes
Don’t be deceived or you won’t retrieve
The spoils of the battle, the fruits of the seed…

You’re given the power because you can control –
You know your greatness so live by your soul!
Don’t be so shallow and burn with your pride
Open yourself and find Jesus inside
Raise up your head and on Heaven’s side
Lay down your armour and shine with your light!


Will Not

from http://xyldrae.com

Will not bury any castles
Or be dragged by pessimists who don’t know they are;
Instead, as a vigilant Christian,
Must expel demons that diminish
The effectivity of communication among people
Of course, do all these with
The help of Christ, in His Light
And for Love, who is God.

No more emasculation but otherwise
No more wasting away on dead ends
No more mediocrity in writing
No more worldly expression
No more superficial concerns
No more robotic routines. No more.
from www.xyldrae.com

Pain gives us a sense of what matters.
Never miss this light and never
Act on the emotion but act on the Light.


Face Up

Conquer all your deaths,
face up.
No matter how rotten you are by the flesh,
your dignified soul will fly…
People will think of you this way-
Martyr.
But you are not a slave of your mold.
The real you is all out and untouchable.
Know that as you wither,
you grow… freed of soul-cage…
So conquer .
Live up.


True Joys (Remake from an Actual Conversation)

(This is a remake of excerpts from an actual conversation written hereafter.)

I want relaxing joys…
Joys that aren’t achieved over tremendous pressure.
I want joys that come in peace,
in kindness freely given,
in love…
in real love…
or in honest hate overcame…

I want joy that does not demand,
a price or a sacrifice…
Such as the joy transcending from an existence…
For otherwise, I am bountiful.

I want so fondly, this plain emotion
gracefully finding its way
through our converted jungles and savory hollows…
riding nothing but time…

I want relaxing joys…
That would transpire for a second
to affect your whole life…
with love…
with real love…
until you can hate no more…

(Excerpts from an actual Conversation:)

I want relaxing joys…
Joys that aren’t achieved over tremendous pressure.
I want those that come in peace,
in kindness freely given,
in love….
I want joy that does not demand a price or sacrifice…
I want that plain emotion from time to time….


Three Steps

(A collaboration with Sherylene Dela Cruz)

As the wind blows, my knees weakened
and found myself in prayer.
The elements cast our heads bowed-
celestial inclination
after shrinking’s end
Off to the tunnel of glory
casting away all the fury – Let there be
drought for deep awakening!


Some Kind of Funeral

(A collaboration with Sherylene Dela Cruz)

Dirge for the superficial will,
The sheep,
The crab,
The maggots,
And the geniuses in ghost-disguise.
A funeral for the
Abortionists
Of Art,
Of Life

Look for that insight
Embedded on the estranged heart.
Be it welcomed. Nourished. Flourished.
No digging of shallow holes
Of/For the rotten.

But explore that Black Hole
That’s existence’s already to You known!

Eternity
Was and Is

Always a part of You.


In All Its Fragile Ephemeral Existence

I am the course of ongoing purification
Grounded at the feet of our Lord
My heartbeats are Psalms,
I yearn for Heaven to rejoice

Though my mold may expire, from dust to dust
In all its fragile, ephemeral existence
These flesh and bones are made sacred and holy
By their containing eternity

Father Almighty, take this man-made crown
Attractive only to the Earth-bound
For without halo can we look not on true wealth
Destitute in Your kingdom, detrimental to health

Amaranthine, grasps on all things
God, I understand why I’m born without wings
The light in creation, can no other surmount
As we walk this transient path to the paramount

I am tried… and tired… And still tried…
Must keep my heart ethereal with Jesus Christ
I am the course of purification life-long, ongoing
Sanctified only by Heavenly belonging.


At Peace With His Bed

“How does one awarely feel
Every bit of Life?”
Is the question of a cold man’s heart
As he starts to exist only in his mind…

Is he not responsive to his longings
When he chooses pondering over rest?
Is he not materializing ambition
When he chooses dreaming over action?

One must be at peace with his bed,
Mastering the act of laying himself down
To God’s healing lullabies
And what He made the night to be…

One must be at peace with his bed,
Mastering the act of rising decidedly,
Embracing back God, now in the form of Light,
And what one can make out of the morning

And so on…

This is my own reply to “But A Simple Greatest Death”. This is also published in xyldrae.deviantart.com.