I know no love apart from madness,
no love that can’t fear unspeakably and yet, still dare
I know no love without insurmountable woe,
No love that can’t hold exuberant eternity in a blink so mundane…
I know no love that can’t magically take last breaths for ages
just wanting so enthusiastically to be there…
I know no love not selfless;
No love that can’t meet death unshaken…
I know no love without phenomenal outcomes,
no love that actually ends…
I know no love that merely lasts
but love that creates instances of glorious eternity
I know no love that doesn’t hold Heaven.
I know no love that can’t.
* dedicated to my grandfather Pio Espineda
December 4, 1930 – September 11, 2013
and to all who love *
Wake up in breathless mourning glory
Cheat and blame the skies
Turn your back on the stunning light before you
Drift off and die.
The devil shows you a tease
So you go on and pry
Pretending it won’t hurt more to stain more
So you build up the gallows of your head with lies
Take the gray off the ashes
And let them burn again-
This is your foul way of love
Will anyone get it right?
(Some lines were adapted in “Smile”, a song collaborated with three of the best rap artists in the Philippines. including my husband. This verse was also originally written as lyrics for an unfinished song.)
Slinging in the chambers of an empty mind
The devil smiles when he pries and he soothes with lies
They’re knocking on the cracks of your hollowed heart
Keep your grasp of the Truth, undeceived by dark
Conquer your ennui, perform a true deed
Shut down your judgement, let go of your greed
Be clinging to the good, be overpowering,
Hating on the bad that brings all suffering.
Get ready to battle your devils inside!
Get ready to battle the devils outside!!!
You’re ready to wipe out your devils inside…
You’re ready to wipe out the devil’s outside!
Anger is a gift, only if you overcome it
Miracles are common so believe it and behold it!
Realize all the lies until it’s no surprise
When all your haters have been unmasked before your weary eyes
Don’t be deceived or you won’t retrieve
The spoils of the battle, the fruits of the seed…
You’re given the power because you can control –
You know your greatness so live by your soul!
Don’t be so shallow and burn with your pride
Open yourself and find Jesus inside
Raise up your head and on Heaven’s side
Lay down your armour and shine with your light!
Will not bury any castles
Or be dragged by pessimists who don’t know they are;
Instead, as a vigilant Christian,
Must expel demons that diminish
The effectivity of communication among people
Of course, do all these with
The help of Christ, in His Light
And for Love, who is God.
Pain gives us a sense of what matters.
Never miss this light and never
Act on the emotion but act on the Light.
(Image inspired by the song “Wild Child” by Lonesome Minstrel.)
Where you so alienated with too much familiarity?
It’s too easy to choose to stay away and be safe,
Kill the flame
Live the dream you have mastered
Where you so merely overwhelmed with too much serendipity?
It’s the hardest to decide not to spare a chance,
Burst the flame
Emblazon in the perfect hell where you’ve made yourself at home…
Where you so right with all you knew?
It’s too impossible to go on happily and feel clean,
Water the fire
Perfect the self-righteous freedom entrapment
(Co-written by Audrey R. Jacob for a song with the Pissheads)
A million smiles I’ve lost to the world…
Your absence breaks my heart in vain…
You make me feel like strange currents move my skin,
Your touches storm the rain away…
A million kisses would make me breathe easy
I think that words are just so empty…
Sing me a song with such Art in your eyes,
Just live in this moment with me….
Don’t run away…
Let’s make it together…
Don’t run away…
Believe in forever…
I am not heartsick.
I am not broken-hearted.
I am shattered.
It is my being that’s broken
When my heart was made whole…
(Expressing for an anonymous friend)
I have proacted drama involuntarily, or so I say
Because my choices do not make me look good at all;
And Euthanasia disguised as Euphoria lays its stage,
Bringing forth all players in my head, all dressed as fools.
Their dialogues are noises, though one meaning they accord:
My fate is seared. I am not wanted. Please make it change!
…But I can never change her who
Had made me, at every second split,
Aware that I try to breathe
And aware that I’m unaware.
You may close those shutters on your face
But I will pass through,
paint scenarios in your cerebellum,
[hypothalamus on overdrive] can I?
I want to be the air that crawls and sneaks upon your every cell,
first touch of your first air exhaled,
….and all next!
I will not stop,
making myself comfortable in this
pounding mass of life,
I’m welcome I know….
So you may put a closure on those lashed feats,
I’ll still get through,
magnified in deep,
[sigh] I hope you are not sober for the reason I am not toxic
but high though I am not a drug.
Also published in xyldrae.deviantart.com