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*a black heart drowning in euphoria*

Posts tagged “Midlife Crisis

Where Oh Where to Take the Stars

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Where oh where oh where to take the stars,
My dearest, sweetest whom I must guide away from liars…

Time stretches her arms to extend despondency
Autumn mirrors my melancholy….

Yet the world’s sourly wrought ages,
Wrinkle primitive inclinations…
Unembraces callously
Beings composed in disintegration…

A contained container with contents somewhere else…
The song of the wind in a planet Mars….
Ridiculous words that deceive the self-proclaimed
Astronauts who have never seen the stars…

We’ve ceased to understand what impediments are
As we merely speak of them from our inner gnomes…
Scattering ourselves without motion,
Feigning malfunctions in our chromosomes..

If tides and currents make good scours
We’ll be mistaking them for scars…

Maxims, Axioms, Dictums of who?
Unbuild my dreams and break my rhymes…
Meridians prime, where I can’t find
The over-stalked lover in Pacific’s crimes

Magnetic Storms cast me frozen
While I hold the burnings stars…
I must stretch Time’s arms even longer
For a diameter’s half that breaks seven bars…

My dearest child, kept in gray
I hope we both don’t ever go astray…

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Foul Way Of Love

(something written some years ago)
Duisburg

Wake up in breathless mourning glory
Cheat and blame the skies
Turn your back on the stunning light before you
Drift off and die.

The devil shows you a tease
So you go on and pry
Pretending it won’t hurt more to stain more
So you build up the gallows of your head with lies

Take the gray off the ashes
And let them burn again-
This is your foul way of love
Will anyone get it right?


Not Haunted As I Am

I’m tracing shadows of my dead hair
On this dead sheet against a live lamp
Where my tired head floats somewhere in between.
Of course.
There’s weight in emotion
And weight in thoughts
Ich schreibe Gedichte
Maybe,
But I can write poems.
I’ve consciously disregarded the full moon
And chose remote wastelands of statistics…
I’ve had everything calculated disregarded
Per chance to look forward to something better.
Spontaneity, overwhelmed with Serendipity
Are eventually… best savored rationally.
Everybody’s haunted
But not haunted as I am…


The Agony of Being Happy

I’m counting days until I’m next to you
If I stop for a second I’d have to time forever again
I’m not fond of the need to be near you
For they mean having to be far from all else…

There’s a price to be paid for each sacrifice
Thank God I don’t take this like a businessman…
I dread the day I’ll be kissing you
While I don’t know who I am…

My heart says sorry…
My spirit is angry…
There’s just too much repression
Brewing up all the agony…

…Of being happy.

I haven’t stopped trying to preserve who I was…
But when I look at this image upon my wrist
I know everything counts
And I can not be someone who’s far without who I was…

I love you too much…
I love else as much…
None can have it all!
I belong with you.


We Move Along


Night thoughts like molten rock….
Effusive states;
A madman’s volcanic vent —

If night lights don’t soothe you
And moonlight hides…
Transport your thoughts to morning sights…
That need no man-made light….

Two is better than one…
We choose to be one…
But not always one with our Maker…

We move along blindly spinning
With our spirits stagnantly weeping…

We move along
Blindly spinning
With our spirits
Stagnantly weeping…

We must return!
We must return!

…To our Maker…


True Joys (Remake from an Actual Conversation)

(This is a remake of excerpts from an actual conversation written hereafter.)

I want relaxing joys…
Joys that aren’t achieved over tremendous pressure.
I want joys that come in peace,
in kindness freely given,
in love…
in real love…
or in honest hate overcame…

I want joy that does not demand,
a price or a sacrifice…
Such as the joy transcending from an existence…
For otherwise, I am bountiful.

I want so fondly, this plain emotion
gracefully finding its way
through our converted jungles and savory hollows…
riding nothing but time…

I want relaxing joys…
That would transpire for a second
to affect your whole life…
with love…
with real love…
until you can hate no more…

(Excerpts from an actual Conversation:)

I want relaxing joys…
Joys that aren’t achieved over tremendous pressure.
I want those that come in peace,
in kindness freely given,
in love….
I want joy that does not demand a price or sacrifice…
I want that plain emotion from time to time….


Need To Be One

I have aged and have become –
A mother without a child,
A wife unwed, without
a husband, but a groom I wish would be
And I am ready but
Not for this anomaly
Created by the scarcity
And unreadiness of another…

But I want us to engage matrimonially
Not because of my age, ascending…
Or my time, descending,
And patience wearing…
But because of these motions that render my blood red
And my heart doused by ferverous amity
I simply feel I must be one with you…
And live free.


This is also published in xyldrae.deviantart.com