*a black heart drowning in euphoria*

Posts tagged “love

My Baby Aquaman

My little tenor
My great big hero
With stellar eyes
That enshrine the skies
My spotless joy
Who makes me whole
Who gifts me with
My salient role
Whose laughter showers
Me with peace
Burning sorrows
Into scents of ease
Resilient one
And Baby Aquaman
Love vaster than seas
Exceeding what man can
Who strides in his paths
And sings and laughs
Like every sense
In most brilliant paragraphs
Flower charmer
Jolly soul
Enchanted by
The things you know
The way your eyebrows cross
Each time you speculate
The way you make me laugh
Repeatedly until my jaws would ache
The way you teach yourself
to speak our languages
Kreiscircle! Until you finally could say correctly “rectangle”!
Right after octagon
And nanogon and pentagon
And learning how to write with polygons

A zzz
The letter A as you turned two
Count to fiveteen sixteen
Then finally fifteen to seventy two!
Painting abstracts in your own way
Swirling fingers to draw your shapes in the air…
Painting the pricelessness of life
Saying and singing God bless the moon and the stars
Falsetto when shy
Nothing can break your melodies the moment you try..
Dancing so gloriously
There’s nothing that you don’t do so happily…
Claiming the time that I owe you each day
As you’re patient enough to let go when I can’t stay…
You are my everything,
What makes a queen worth giving a crown
What makes the drowned undrown..
My little tenor
My great big hero
You summon sweet infinity
From a point less than zero
Keep singing your songs
Preserve your keen and innocent ways
Keep daring as you do
Keep finding the marvel outside and within you..
You’ve moved mountains before you were born…
You can never be broken. You may never be torn.
You are light like Christ,
You’ll rule the days and the nights!
Keep seeing the world as God had made it to be
Keep seeking Him everywhere
And be who you’re meant to be..


Did You Know About Anchors?

(First Unfinished Draft and Middle Part)

Beautiful Souls

From a journey through layers from the ocean floor
We’ve smiled at its species, as we lovingly drawn close to their open doors…

Oh how man would give up his breaths,
To say hello to a clown in anemones…
And no matter how relentlessly expiring,
Life holds eternity in moments like these…

When I rose above the ocean water,
You were walking, satisfied, towards the shore.. .
My vision was still filtered and blurry
Yet I was magnificently seeing more…

Rain drizzled down enchantingly
On the calm and waveless sea…
It was bright and dim and dark all at the same time
In a moment of Life most sublime…

And as water kissed water
The sun couldn’t help but provide
A unique spotlight for every unique drop
And made the glow in your soul even more bright…
Suddenly, diamonds were dancing afloat,
Surrounding our humble family boat…
Their sparks froze such serene Settings in fleeting eternity
But the focus remained on the man Still walking slowly ahead of me…

Did you know,
That I see through your eyes and from my own?
It is a gift of gifts within me…
That you have sown and grown…


He Is A Song

Life At Its Fullest - Peewee

Reach the summit of a mountain
Kiss the floor of the sea
In all of Life’s adventures
There is a song in me

He is the love
And Epic reward
From God to all of us here
He’s lived a good life
Been giving good love
And on his 80th year
We thank the Lord
This man is a song
Who’ll live on…

So walk the gravel and cement
Of busy city streets
Convert the traffic into jazz
With this legend in your ears

He is the love
And Epic reward
From God to all of us here
He’s lived a good life
Been giving good love
And on his 80th year
We thank the Lord
This man is a song
Who’ll live on…


No Love That Can’t

No Love That Can't

I know no love apart from madness,
no love that can’t fear unspeakably and yet, still dare
I know no love without insurmountable woe,
No love that can’t hold exuberant eternity in a blink so mundane…

I know no love that can’t magically take last breaths for ages
just wanting so enthusiastically to be there…
I know no love not selfless;
No love that can’t meet death unshaken…

I know no love without phenomenal outcomes,
no love that actually ends…
I know no love that merely lasts
but love that creates instances of glorious eternity

I know no love that doesn’t hold Heaven.
I know no love that can’t.

* dedicated to my grandfather Pio Espineda
December 4, 1930 – September 11, 2013
and to all who love *


Of Time…

toddlers58

Sometimes,
good intentions without understanding result to worse things.
Sometimes,
it’s better to not understand beings and simply respect feelings.

Ripples of thoughts
of wonders and sorrows
severe his mind gracefully
at the wrong time….

All in non-extremes
beg for attention
when the only Freedom starts with Detention…
Isolation
Seemingly Zombiefication
– A Liberation they know nothing of.

Pink and Green
Images of woe
Images of Joy
Disprove Slumber

-THE DEATH WAS REAL!

It was a nightmare that came before sleep
It was a dream that happened because he awakened…

But now he must awaken again….

There is a pool of woe in the Southeast,
and fish in the cold air up North to the West…
He knows no other waters but woe.

Time stops in this climax of suffering.

The LIFE was real…

Sometimes,
he gets swallowed up in a time machine…
and knows just about too many things…
Sometimes…
he only thought of time…

He cries to sleep,
wakes up the same,
blood flowing through his veins
and outside of them.

Splashes of blood
on this mundane floor
drown him gently
in sweet Sunday gloom.


Foul Way Of Love

(something written some years ago)
Duisburg

Wake up in breathless mourning glory
Cheat and blame the skies
Turn your back on the stunning light before you
Drift off and die.

The devil shows you a tease
So you go on and pry
Pretending it won’t hurt more to stain more
So you build up the gallows of your head with lies

Take the gray off the ashes
And let them burn again-
This is your foul way of love
Will anyone get it right?


How Do You Take A Death?

How do you take a death,
When the weight of its pain
Brings you to your knees
And stabs you repeatedly
As you bleed through most sorrowful tears?

How do you take a death,
When its cold bludgeons you frozen
Makes you crawl to nowhere
In all your disbelief
When you try to justify Life’s loss…

…and find out there’s no Justice…
For an angel born in a new home, Heaven…

Do you question the Lord,
Do you blame Him for the choice of the cause
The mistakes, the circumstances,
The manner of death,
The suffering much less than you now have to endure?

Know there is justice….
For an angel born in a new home, Heaven…

Do not question the Lord…
If not to get answers.
You can not take a death…
Unless it is yours…

And you can live in honor
Of all the good your lost love have done alive
And you can live in respect
To all the wishes of our beloved departed…
Accepting an angel is born
In a better home we call Heaven…


The Roots Of

Weaved by thoughts severed the most
And illest visions for the blind and abled
My heart is forced, caught into the Paradox
Confusing the roots of misdemeanors…
“Love does not take account of a wrong that is suffered.”


Will Not

from http://xyldrae.com

Will not bury any castles
Or be dragged by pessimists who don’t know they are;
Instead, as a vigilant Christian,
Must expel demons that diminish
The effectivity of communication among people
Of course, do all these with
The help of Christ, in His Light
And for Love, who is God.

No more emasculation but otherwise
No more wasting away on dead ends
No more mediocrity in writing
No more worldly expression
No more superficial concerns
No more robotic routines. No more.
from www.xyldrae.com

Pain gives us a sense of what matters.
Never miss this light and never
Act on the emotion but act on the Light.


Back Off. Back Up. Back Out.

(Image inspired by the song “Wild Child” by Lonesome Minstrel.)

Where you so alienated with too much familiarity?
It’s too easy to choose to stay away and be safe,
Kill the flame
Live the dream you have mastered
Void yourself…

Back off.

Where you so merely overwhelmed with too much serendipity?
It’s the hardest to decide not to spare a chance,
Burst the flame
Emblazon in the perfect hell where you’ve made yourself at home…
Unbuild yourself…

Back up.

Where you so right with all you knew?
It’s too impossible to go on happily and feel clean,
Water the fire
Perfect the self-righteous freedom entrapment
Deprive yourself…

Back out.


Looking Up By Looking Down

Who says you’ll never see the sky
if you’re looking down?
Haven’t you heard?
God is everywhere and He
makes all things work for the good
of those who love Him.


The only way you could have convinced yourself that I’m a pessimist is by being one yourself.


The only freedom you’ll ever need
Is freedom from yourself.


The sweetest thing a person can do to you
is to do the sweetest thing to you and then do you wrong. Right?
Wrong.


… and when all you claim to need to live
is to have my world revolve around you,
/
live for you,
I find it very unnecessary to die for you.


You don’t really have to give me
the whole damn world when I’ve
spent my entire life in struggle
so now I am apart from it.


And of course, you will never
understand if you don’t listen first.


How can a person respond to a person who’s
asking for something you’ve already given,
and given in its best form?


Some actions would appear and come to you
like an assault of flying daggers,
but if your heart can only see the intentions behind them…
you’d know you were never the target.


If you so believe in choice,
why do you call yourself
a slave of circumstance?


Life is not like a box of chocolates these days.
People seem to always know what they’re gonna get.
And people seem to want to always know what they’re gonna get.
Where are all the people who actually want to live???


You keep on looking at me like some sort of mirror.
Is that why you’re breaking me?


You keep on looking at her like some sort of mirror.
Is that why you keep trying to break her?


You keep on looking at him like some sort of mirror.
Is that why you love him?


Do you know how the uneducated take opinionated news?
Of course you do!
It clearly shows in your opinions.


Okay…. If you want me to be
“Marcia f****** Braidy”
all you have to do is carry on with your fantasy
whilst I live my life in the real world. Kindly excuse me.


How typical our response to anger is….
Aren’t you all bored with that?


Taking responsibility
and being responsible are
two different actions.
It’s nice to have them come together…


What if? What if? What if?
Are you a fool to obsess with making me think like you?
No thanks, but I am truly grateful for
what is, what is, what is,
what was, what was, what was,
and what will, what will, what will.
And for someone who doesn’t bother to know the difference, just
dismiss yourself on your own accord,
then I’ll be glad to finally talk.


You make it sound right.
Take a hint!
Good luck!


He is a hero because he died
saving someone else’s life.
He’s human and divine because he had
the heart to make that choice.


Everyone is a victim in any story.
We just miss the fact that the antagonist
is not among us and
that the obvious solution and mission is
co-existence
which can only be achieved through love.


If it’s not pride,
why does it overlook everything it tramples on?


“How do you kill a thing that has already died?”
the “Lonesome Minstrel” says.
I say:
Give it life then kill it again.


Love… love… love….
why are people so obsessed with what it’s not?


Come to think of it….
let me just end this by telling you,
I love you.

(This is originally posted as prose in Valkyrja*Soul but I’ve decided to post it here and make it appear as spoken word, as it actually is a compilation of such. The attachment is also published in flickr.com/valkyrjaxoul.


True Joys (Remake from an Actual Conversation)

(This is a remake of excerpts from an actual conversation written hereafter.)

I want relaxing joys…
Joys that aren’t achieved over tremendous pressure.
I want joys that come in peace,
in kindness freely given,
in love…
in real love…
or in honest hate overcame…

I want joy that does not demand,
a price or a sacrifice…
Such as the joy transcending from an existence…
For otherwise, I am bountiful.

I want so fondly, this plain emotion
gracefully finding its way
through our converted jungles and savory hollows…
riding nothing but time…

I want relaxing joys…
That would transpire for a second
to affect your whole life…
with love…
with real love…
until you can hate no more…

(Excerpts from an actual Conversation:)

I want relaxing joys…
Joys that aren’t achieved over tremendous pressure.
I want those that come in peace,
in kindness freely given,
in love….
I want joy that does not demand a price or sacrifice…
I want that plain emotion from time to time….


Flourish or Drown

I am not heartsick.
I am not broken-hearted.
I am shattered.
It is my being that’s broken
When my heart was made whole…


Can Warmth Be Alms

I am strained by this explosive rest
From world and woe but of pure
Celestialness- Inauspicious breathing
When I found I was unwhole before you;
That I, without you, am a flame grand enough
But can not burn nor brighten as I should
And strained by this explosive rest am I
Conditions untoward nurture in one, a pitiful soul
Whose protected coverings plagued with heightened sensations
Swiftly augmenting vastitude in clockwork mentality
Growing awareness to disintegrate control
How does one lose one’s self to another’s existence made known?
Deconstructing ambiguity,
Unnerving, upsetting, detesting it all!
Inauspicious breathing… left unreversed and reserved.
I am strained by this explosive rest.


In All Its Fragile Ephemeral Existence

I am the course of ongoing purification
Grounded at the feet of our Lord
My heartbeats are Psalms,
I yearn for Heaven to rejoice

Though my mold may expire, from dust to dust
In all its fragile, ephemeral existence
These flesh and bones are made sacred and holy
By their containing eternity

Father Almighty, take this man-made crown
Attractive only to the Earth-bound
For without halo can we look not on true wealth
Destitute in Your kingdom, detrimental to health

Amaranthine, grasps on all things
God, I understand why I’m born without wings
The light in creation, can no other surmount
As we walk this transient path to the paramount

I am tried… and tired… And still tried…
Must keep my heart ethereal with Jesus Christ
I am the course of purification life-long, ongoing
Sanctified only by Heavenly belonging.


Passerby

He showed and told me everything,
Everything he owned…
I understood and felt them all,
But now his love I can’t behold…

He heard and saw everything I am,
Almost everything I own…
He understood and felt them all,
Then never wanted more….

Also published in xyldrae.deviantart.com


Awarely Unaware

(Expressing for an anonymous friend)

I have proacted drama involuntarily, or so I say
Because my choices do not make me look good at all;
And Euthanasia disguised as Euphoria lays its stage,
Bringing forth all players in my head, all dressed as fools.
Their dialogues are noises, though one meaning they accord:
My fate is seared. I am not wanted. Please make it change!

…But I can never change her who
Had made me, at every second split,
Aware that I try to breathe
And aware that I’m unaware.


Mortal Convenience

(A collaboration with Rona Fe Almazan)

Noble, as you bestow yourself to me,
Conniving with freedom and so with secrecy.
But there is nothing epic in the plot you reckon
To weave me tangled in the sultry burrows of your being

I’d leave my sentiments, dry up these dreadful illusions
And burn my amusement with bitterness or deceptions
For it all boils down to preferences fit for moral, no, mortal, convenience
All far from the magnitude of scarcely explored greatness.


Feeling You Feeling Me Apart

Feeling You Feeling Me Apart

You may close those shutters on your face

But I will pass through,
paint scenarios in your cerebellum,
[hypothalamus on overdrive] can I?

I want to be the air that crawls and sneaks upon your every cell,
first touch of your first air exhaled,

….and all next!

I will not stop,
making myself comfortable in this
pounding mass of life,

I’m welcome I know….

So you may put a closure on those lashed feats,
I’ll still get through,
magnified in deep,

like now…

[sigh] I hope you are not sober for the reason I am not toxic
but high though I am not a drug.

Also published in xyldrae.deviantart.com