*a black heart drowning in euphoria*

The Perils of Living

Of Time…

toddlers58

Sometimes,
good intentions without understanding result to worse things.
Sometimes,
it’s better to not understand beings and simply respect feelings.

Ripples of thoughts
of wonders and sorrows
severe his mind gracefully
at the wrong time….

All in non-extremes
beg for attention
when the only Freedom starts with Detention…
Isolation
Seemingly Zombiefication
– A Liberation they know nothing of.

Pink and Green
Images of woe
Images of Joy
Disprove Slumber

-THE DEATH WAS REAL!

It was a nightmare that came before sleep
It was a dream that happened because he awakened…

But now he must awaken again….

There is a pool of woe in the Southeast,
and fish in the cold air up North to the West…
He knows no other waters but woe.

Time stops in this climax of suffering.

The LIFE was real…

Sometimes,
he gets swallowed up in a time machine…
and knows just about too many things…
Sometimes…
he only thought of time…

He cries to sleep,
wakes up the same,
blood flowing through his veins
and outside of them.

Splashes of blood
on this mundane floor
drown him gently
in sweet Sunday gloom.


The Saddest Poem

bird

I wanna sing the saddest songs as if I would die
and then I wanna cry my heart out as if I’ve lost God…
I wanna run in circles within an untamed wilderness
after my tears have equalled the waves of the seas…
and find myself at the top of a snow-capped mountain
screaming my frozen lungs out and hearing only my voice
transmitting the rage of my burning heart.
Distorted and soul-starved,
I don’t ache to feel a little less alive…
Nor do I merely ache…
My madness does not represent a longing for joy
Not even a longing for death.
My loneliness is not soothed by company.
My burden blinds with light.
There is nothing more worse for me and ill
than the simple mediocrity when I do not sing when I will.


How Do You Take A Death?

How do you take a death,
When the weight of its pain
Brings you to your knees
And stabs you repeatedly
As you bleed through most sorrowful tears?

How do you take a death,
When its cold bludgeons you frozen
Makes you crawl to nowhere
In all your disbelief
When you try to justify Life’s loss…

…and find out there’s no Justice…
For an angel born in a new home, Heaven…

Do you question the Lord,
Do you blame Him for the choice of the cause
The mistakes, the circumstances,
The manner of death,
The suffering much less than you now have to endure?

Know there is justice….
For an angel born in a new home, Heaven…

Do not question the Lord…
If not to get answers.
You can not take a death…
Unless it is yours…

And you can live in honor
Of all the good your lost love have done alive
And you can live in respect
To all the wishes of our beloved departed…
Accepting an angel is born
In a better home we call Heaven…


Chambers of the Obsolete III

Originally uploaded and copyrighted in xyldrae.deviantart.com

So dark, the shadows in my eyes
So light, the hell within my burden,
That I may never say good night
In the calming presence of moonlight.

So vast, the barren spaces of my woes
So crowded, the only things that hold
That I may never taste more than defeat
In the cruel chambers of the obsolete.


The Roots Of

Weaved by thoughts severed the most
And illest visions for the blind and abled
My heart is forced, caught into the Paradox
Confusing the roots of misdemeanors…
“Love does not take account of a wrong that is suffered.”


Memory Of Eternity

It is a memory of Eternity
Frozen with the heart
Painted in Light and Waves
And death and life…
And that point where both intertwine…
To be one and oddly the same…

I can not discern it good or bad
All I know is how lost it deepens my mind…
How it stalks the stars for something bigger than dreams…
How it makes me forget who I am and who I want to be…
How it rescues me…
To destroy me on and on again…


Back Off. Back Up. Back Out.

(Image inspired by the song “Wild Child” by Lonesome Minstrel.)

Where you so alienated with too much familiarity?
It’s too easy to choose to stay away and be safe,
Kill the flame
Live the dream you have mastered
Void yourself…

Back off.

Where you so merely overwhelmed with too much serendipity?
It’s the hardest to decide not to spare a chance,
Burst the flame
Emblazon in the perfect hell where you’ve made yourself at home…
Unbuild yourself…

Back up.

Where you so right with all you knew?
It’s too impossible to go on happily and feel clean,
Water the fire
Perfect the self-righteous freedom entrapment
Deprive yourself…

Back out.


Masochistic Mystery

There’s nothing more to me
Than this masochistic mystery
That begs to not end your story
Of just who are we?


Life and Calamities

(In memory of all the people, dead or alive, affected by the flash floods and landslides caused by the Typhoon Sendong.)

NPPA image linked from http://ph.news.yahoo.com

A tender little doll freshly drowned in mud
In the shaking arms of her weeping father…
On Christmas season when she was aged three or four…
She was one corpse of a thousand others more…

A multitude of suddenly homeless mouths to nourish
Who aren’t sure YET, if they’d be thankful to have survived…
Still out in their heads searching for loved ones and strangers
Still praying they’re still alive…

These are a glint of the wrath of a flash flood
That had more than a city abused and wiped out.
Life turns off when calamities turn on
But the Lord has told us how we could be saved…

When thousands of people had their breaths expire
Millions come together to relieve what they’ve left behind
Millions more continue calling out…
Out of their way… into their lives…

These are the heroes of heroes
Who had to be victims that heroes need save
Life goes on when calamities go off
But the Lord is watchful on how we behave…

—-

Donations

From the Philippine Red Cross website:

SMS

Text REDAMOUNT to 2899 (Globe) or 4143 (Smart)

G-Cash

Text DONATEAMOUNT4-digit M-PINREDCROSS to 2882

You can donate the following denominations:
Globe: 5, 25, 100, 300, 500 or 1000
Smart: 10, 25, 50, 100, 300, 500 or 1000

or go to: http://www.redcross.org.ph/donate
for more info and options

For overseas Filipinos, you can donate thru the Philippine National Red Cross’ website: http://www.redcross.org.ph/donate

—-

SOME VIDEOS FOR THE 2011 SENDONG TYPHOON:


In All Its Fragile Ephemeral Existence

I am the course of ongoing purification
Grounded at the feet of our Lord
My heartbeats are Psalms,
I yearn for Heaven to rejoice

Though my mold may expire, from dust to dust
In all its fragile, ephemeral existence
These flesh and bones are made sacred and holy
By their containing eternity

Father Almighty, take this man-made crown
Attractive only to the Earth-bound
For without halo can we look not on true wealth
Destitute in Your kingdom, detrimental to health

Amaranthine, grasps on all things
God, I understand why I’m born without wings
The light in creation, can no other surmount
As we walk this transient path to the paramount

I am tried… and tired… And still tried…
Must keep my heart ethereal with Jesus Christ
I am the course of purification life-long, ongoing
Sanctified only by Heavenly belonging.


The Cross

“the circular, colored curtain of the eye….”
From its opening, the pupil takes form…
Through it, the light that enters, regulates…
Everything’s made to be broken.

I am deaf to the song of fools
Yet I find no wise man’s rebuke….
Perhaps I am called to take his place….


Dunes

(A collaboration with Conrad Garcia)

Indistinct in the twilight,
The veiled bride moon.
Tales of rabid white lies
Whisper howls on the freezing desert plain;
Skies stripped of their stars, arousing handicapped sighs
That sometimes touch the infinity of sands
And wail through storms that peril no man
For no man was here—
Patiently the vultures drool
While much stranger things contemplate their kills.
Do the winds even know they can make or break the Earth;
Their tenacious movements so restless, refined in plains of aridity?
And oh… what else do they carry
Aside from a mass of emptiness
To proliferate that of the cold, retreating night?
There’s nothing to break so –
Some slacks come around the way of the scorpion
Far from what throbs and aches for their venom;
The dessert eagle glares, casting
On a detached carapace, the scowl of a rising flame.
And still, no man is here.
Spirits wail from where…
Valleys of disenchantment tell stories of fleeting passersby
Thorned and torn by the old worlds
Craven to the unfamiliar, spiteful to the new.


Make Me A Saint

Make me a saint.
Hush the flames devouring my system
And slay the frozen truth of its endlessness.
Mimic Hell
And force it inside this ghost shell…

…And you’ll be sending me to Heaven.


This is also published in xyldrae.deviantart.com

“GOD MAKES ALL THINGS WORK FOR THE GOOD OF THOSE WHO LOVE HIM” – ROMANS 9


Transition of Consciousness

My greatest discomfort is the transition of consciousness;
Herein, my thoughts must ceasefire,
or begin to ravage me again…

As by my sinking eyelids I am forced to sleep,
Why must my busy heart retire along with them?

And as society requires me so,
I wake up with too much undone,
And not enough to feel alive.
It hurts my soul.

My greatest pain is this repeating ache…
…to feel alive or be unconsciously dead.
My greatest death is the transition of consciousness,
My graveyard is my bed.


This post is also published in xyldrae.deviantart.com