*a black heart drowning in euphoria*

General Romance

Foul Way Of Love

(something written some years ago)
Duisburg

Wake up in breathless mourning glory
Cheat and blame the skies
Turn your back on the stunning light before you
Drift off and die.

The devil shows you a tease
So you go on and pry
Pretending it won’t hurt more to stain more
So you build up the gallows of your head with lies

Take the gray off the ashes
And let them burn again-
This is your foul way of love
Will anyone get it right?


If Darkness Is So Bad

Originally uploaded and copyrighted with credits for stock usage in xyldrae.deviantart.com and created for the “Scavenger Hunt” contest administered by the Intermediate-Manips group.

If darkness is so bad…
Why do we close our eyes when we pray…
Why as we become deeper
The further our visuals go away…
Is it not dark when we dream
And envision beyond what our eyes behold –
The sights that render us powerless
Against the worthy stories untold…

If darkness is so bad,
I dare you watch the stars in daylight
I dare you love less the sun…
I dare you keep your kisses to your sight
Don’t close your eyes when you make love
Gaze not at the twilight as it goes
Find no beauty in your favorite scenery
And imagine things without their shadows

If darkness is so bad,
What makes Light redeeming?
What heightens touch, what perfects sound
Why eyes are closed when soulfully singing?
If darkness is so bad,
I dare you, wish upon no shooting star
Pray only for what’s delighting.
Keep sane in continuous joys
Blind to the glory of overcoming.



Chambers of the Obsolete – II

Defenses are set
Maneuvers are heavy
But nevertheless, ready
Human nature orchestrates
The way a person waltzes away…

And you can never face it whole
While in preparation for your doom
It’s the coldest place you’ll ever live in…
The Chambers of the Obsolete


Back Off. Back Up. Back Out.

(Image inspired by the song “Wild Child” by Lonesome Minstrel.)

Where you so alienated with too much familiarity?
It’s too easy to choose to stay away and be safe,
Kill the flame
Live the dream you have mastered
Void yourself…

Back off.

Where you so merely overwhelmed with too much serendipity?
It’s the hardest to decide not to spare a chance,
Burst the flame
Emblazon in the perfect hell where you’ve made yourself at home…
Unbuild yourself…

Back up.

Where you so right with all you knew?
It’s too impossible to go on happily and feel clean,
Water the fire
Perfect the self-righteous freedom entrapment
Deprive yourself…

Back out.


I Know Where You Live

(Co-written by Audrey R. Jacob for a song with the Pissheads)

A million smiles I’ve lost to the world…
Your absence breaks my heart in vain…
You make me feel like strange currents move my skin,
Your touches storm the rain away…

A million kisses would make me breathe easy
I think that words are just so empty…
Sing me a song with such Art in your eyes,
Just live in this moment with me….

Don’t run away…
Let’s make it together…
Don’t run away…
Believe in forever…


Just Aware

My cold heart prevents the flames from total consumption
And I tire just being their battlefield,
And I tire just battling being
Like a ghost to an incipient deceased…

I wish I could pick a rose
Without minding its thorns-
Oh if only I am allowed to bleed…
Together we can paint the town red.

Flames melt my cold heart instead
Like roasted marshmallow
But no mouth would skin its bitterness away…
No system could digest


Passerby

He showed and told me everything,
Everything he owned…
I understood and felt them all,
But now his love I can’t behold…

He heard and saw everything I am,
Almost everything I own…
He understood and felt them all,
Then never wanted more….

Also published in xyldrae.deviantart.com


Mortal Convenience

(A collaboration with Rona Fe Almazan)

Noble, as you bestow yourself to me,
Conniving with freedom and so with secrecy.
But there is nothing epic in the plot you reckon
To weave me tangled in the sultry burrows of your being

I’d leave my sentiments, dry up these dreadful illusions
And burn my amusement with bitterness or deceptions
For it all boils down to preferences fit for moral, no, mortal, convenience
All far from the magnitude of scarcely explored greatness.


Gravel or Cement

Let me save your bothered feet from gravel or cement,
Let me in again today…
Beings as we are were not bound to engage
Only to choose the choices we deem mundane…

I bet there’s a consummation of determination unsteady,
Tainted by cowardice so common among men
And women. Oh you and I do not favor selfishness
But would rather ache forever to be meek

In gravel or cement where your anxious feet are coldly anchored
I could bring you the grass… or rivers, should you allow it…
Stream you in rapture perennial as they are. Don’t you think?
Do alienate yourself with me without assuming mere routines…

Beings as we are were not bound to engage
Only to choose the choices we deem mundane…

Also published in xyldrae.deviantart.com.


On What Expense

On what expense does a man bare his soul
to a woman he does not intend to keep?
And on what expense does a man keep
a woman he does not intend to bare his soul with?

What does a man tell himself when he realizes on what expense?
And what does a man do to not realize on what expense?

On what expense does a man love
And on what expense does he not?

Also published in xyldrae.deviantart.com. Feel free to change the perspective to male to female.


The Message of the Sky

Bum with me
Above the clouds
You need no other high but I…

Sun can’t burn
Out solemn flesh
Your doubts are meaningless.

Celestial Hearts
Know how to fly
This is the message of the Sky…

This is also published in xyldrae.deviantart.com.


True Beings

Better beings will come along
And all their assets shall favor the abandoned lover dearly

But this human’s soul is only fulfilled in both
Flaws and geniuses that come together in a single mold (
Not one without the flaws;
Not one without the geniuses;
)To allow give and take
Not only in surfaces worldly…

Humans were never trophies nor ornaments
When God created them
And they did not come to the world as benefactors to each other
But as warriors armed and armored with Light.
So this human’s soul shall only be sustained whole, consummated
By means of pairing, divine, for unearthly battle.

And better beings came and come along,
Some even staying or over-staying…
Acting like demi-gods, offering heavens that don’t exist
And offering the world, not knowing how gross it is…
Simultaneously begging the forlorn heavenly child
To yield what is neither owned or theirs to take…
And Truth had never ever favored any turn
More vicious circles formulate in necessary unbeing


This is also published in xyldrae.deviantart.com


Feeling You Feeling Me Apart

Feeling You Feeling Me Apart

You may close those shutters on your face

But I will pass through,
paint scenarios in your cerebellum,
[hypothalamus on overdrive] can I?

I want to be the air that crawls and sneaks upon your every cell,
first touch of your first air exhaled,

….and all next!

I will not stop,
making myself comfortable in this
pounding mass of life,

I’m welcome I know….

So you may put a closure on those lashed feats,
I’ll still get through,
magnified in deep,

like now…

[sigh] I hope you are not sober for the reason I am not toxic
but high though I am not a drug.

Also published in xyldrae.deviantart.com