*a black heart drowning in euphoria*

Epic

Did You Know About Anchors?

(First Unfinished Draft and Middle Part)

Beautiful Souls

From a journey through layers from the ocean floor
We’ve smiled at its species, as we lovingly drawn close to their open doors…

Oh how man would give up his breaths,
To say hello to a clown in anemones…
And no matter how relentlessly expiring,
Life holds eternity in moments like these…

When I rose above the ocean water,
You were walking, satisfied, towards the shore.. .
My vision was still filtered and blurry
Yet I was magnificently seeing more…

Rain drizzled down enchantingly
On the calm and waveless sea…
It was bright and dim and dark all at the same time
In a moment of Life most sublime…

And as water kissed water
The sun couldn’t help but provide
A unique spotlight for every unique drop
And made the glow in your soul even more bright…
Suddenly, diamonds were dancing afloat,
Surrounding our humble family boat…
Their sparks froze such serene Settings in fleeting eternity
But the focus remained on the man Still walking slowly ahead of me…

Did you know,
That I see through your eyes and from my own?
It is a gift of gifts within me…
That you have sown and grown…


He Is A Song

Life At Its Fullest - Peewee

Reach the summit of a mountain
Kiss the floor of the sea
In all of Life’s adventures
There is a song in me

He is the love
And Epic reward
From God to all of us here
He’s lived a good life
Been giving good love
And on his 80th year
We thank the Lord
This man is a song
Who’ll live on…

So walk the gravel and cement
Of busy city streets
Convert the traffic into jazz
With this legend in your ears

He is the love
And Epic reward
From God to all of us here
He’s lived a good life
Been giving good love
And on his 80th year
We thank the Lord
This man is a song
Who’ll live on…


You Are Your Diction – Revision

Revision of You’re Only As Deep As Your Diction

An exchange of words doesn’t mean a conversation has commenced.
Sometimes people communicate better in silence.

You’ll be surprised with what Silence can say
And disgusted with what a thousand words can not.
The timing of holding your tongue
Perfects your mastery on wielding the words you’ve got.

Diction is action.

Action is one of those things that we truly own.
Yet, it’s one of those things most people die to give away.

Action is Life.

Live your own short Life and love it.
For we were all made not to last in this precious form,
A hymn of envy that fallen angels have sung…
As they attempt to battle Eternity contained within our dying selves.

These are underrated statements.

A good man lives in God’s time.
The non-inquisitive are confounded.
Have you seen a deeper soul than one that has settled
Its confounded passions for diversities unrelented?

Do not risk falling asleep and waking up
With things you can not wake up to. Forgive.
Do not risk falling asleep and waking up
With things your soul aches not to die with. Live.

These are scarcely practiced values.

You have not been hired to make an appearance on Earth,
You were gladly brought into it and invited
To savor the glory of the fullest of Life and what isn’t.
To not merely scratch the surface of Heaven and Hell and finish untainted.

While favorites are fine, how would you know there are better things in Life
If you’ve shut your ears exclusive to just one genre of music?
Find all your assets a glass half full or a glass half empty –
Inevitably you always have something and that is terrific!

These are inceptions to tell you what ‘Difference’ means.

PRESERVATION is the name of a false god.
Reservation, one of his forms;
Should you check if you’ve descended towards being a god,
See if you enviously live within self-righteous norms…

Then one need not tell you how awful you’ve been,
With all your lame deceit.
Vanity will wear your soul as its crown
An you would seem very proud of it.

These are some of the willful deadly sins…

A willing man is moved by his desire
To achieve and not by his desire to please;
Thus, you’ll perceive nothing mundane from a willing man
And his gestures with good intentions shall always give ease.

Those who always say they want to die
Usually mean they are dying to live
Those who are closely incapable of tears
Usually suffer greater than those who did…

These are a flow of flaws so common.

Don’t use your mouth for the deaf.
Don’t use visuals for the blind.
Don’t bother to touch the numb.
Find the functional or leave it behind…

Most often, a curse is a gift you just don’t understand
Or a gift you know not how to use.
It’s too strange not to be strange…
Deepen your prayers and you’ll know not to abuse.

These are the neglected obvious.

Seeing the wrongs is a chance to make things better.
So smile when you see one, and multiply those smiles when you do.
If you can see the disasters of others and find the light amidst your own
Then you won’t question your heart when it tells you who are you…

He who despairs to keep what’s beautiful
By wasting off every bit of beauty it bares
He had never had and will never have
But the aftersense of Asmodeus glares.

These, like pride, are just but other forms of insecurity.

Your temptations are not only meant to destroy you,
But to make you a means to destroy
Something bigger and brighter than you.
Look outside your self and furthermore enjoy…

You can never understand something real
When you’re listening with a fake ear.
A good listener knows when and how
To make someone shut up and tame his falsified ear.

These are some aspects of proper co-existence.

It’s not a relationship if one can not relate.
You can not cut a bridge that you’re still crossing unless you want to fall in vain.
The less you are in a prayerful life, the more sick you’ll become..
Begging your dawns and brief nights be spared by chaotic rain.

There’s no such shallowness to which real depth can not compensate;
So kiss with your ears when your lips have failed. Yes, kiss…
Look with your eyes closed when you can’t find while they’re wide open
There’s quite a gain you’d get for life’s every haunting miss.

This could be but a circus of words, should you chose to make it.


The Saddest Poem

bird

I wanna sing the saddest songs as if I would die
and then I wanna cry my heart out as if I’ve lost God…
I wanna run in circles within an untamed wilderness
after my tears have equalled the waves of the seas…
and find myself at the top of a snow-capped mountain
screaming my frozen lungs out and hearing only my voice
transmitting the rage of my burning heart.
Distorted and soul-starved,
I don’t ache to feel a little less alive…
Nor do I merely ache…
My madness does not represent a longing for joy
Not even a longing for death.
My loneliness is not soothed by company.
My burden blinds with light.
There is nothing more worse for me and ill
than the simple mediocrity when I do not sing when I will.


EXCERPTS FROM AN UNFINISHED ODE:

EXCERPTS FROM AN UNFINISHED ODE:

No devil could stop this
And no Man.

Pulsed Salvation took form
Beginning before
The waters of the womb;

God, the Artist,
Gentled His film

And

In the darkroom of man,
Devised new Light:

Son and Brother of All

Who had the eyes of a Hero,
One, where the Artist’s
Signature’s found.

Blessed be beholders of he
For they shall serve God unerringly,
Have virtue endowed
And themselves, sanctified
By Love for and from
His son, Jesus Christ.

—–
Happy Birthday Kuya Ec! I never imagined my life without you… Your epic of giving your Life to save someone, shall always be a reminder to us, of how fragile, and at the same time, how powerful we are, that we have to be a hero when God calls us to fulfill His glorious and loving will. “There is no better love than this. To give up one’s life for one’s friends”….


If Darkness Is So Bad

Originally uploaded and copyrighted with credits for stock usage in xyldrae.deviantart.com and created for the “Scavenger Hunt” contest administered by the Intermediate-Manips group.

If darkness is so bad…
Why do we close our eyes when we pray…
Why as we become deeper
The further our visuals go away…
Is it not dark when we dream
And envision beyond what our eyes behold –
The sights that render us powerless
Against the worthy stories untold…

If darkness is so bad,
I dare you watch the stars in daylight
I dare you love less the sun…
I dare you keep your kisses to your sight
Don’t close your eyes when you make love
Gaze not at the twilight as it goes
Find no beauty in your favorite scenery
And imagine things without their shadows

If darkness is so bad,
What makes Light redeeming?
What heightens touch, what perfects sound
Why eyes are closed when soulfully singing?
If darkness is so bad,
I dare you, wish upon no shooting star
Pray only for what’s delighting.
Keep sane in continuous joys
Blind to the glory of overcoming.



Open Shutter

I wanted to capture running water
Shaping rocks yonder the spotlight sunset
But His hands keep me from my lover Ocean
With untimely tides and decent injuries…

There’s a barren sense
Within the four corners where I lay
Outside, the stars glitter smiles for my solitary stay
While the moon won’t even show its face…

Just like the night skies
I was unwhole to the naked and non-parallax eye….
My ears can only hear my Lover’s heartbeat
Wash the shores and securities away…

Open shutter,
Choose the better light
Draw my frustrations away
Into a better sight….


The Real Battle

(Some lines were adapted in “Smile”, a song collaborated with three of the best rap artists in the Philippines. including my husband. This verse was also originally written as lyrics for an unfinished song.)

Slinging in the chambers of an empty mind
The devil smiles when he pries and he soothes with lies
They’re knocking on the cracks of your hollowed heart
Keep your grasp of the Truth, undeceived by dark
Conquer your ennui, perform a true deed
Shut down your judgement, let go of your greed
Be clinging to the good, be overpowering,
Hating on the bad that brings all suffering.

Get ready to battle your devils inside!
Get ready to battle the devils outside!!!
You’re ready to wipe out your devils inside…
You’re ready to wipe out the devil’s outside!

Anger is a gift, only if you overcome it
Miracles are common so believe it and behold it!
Realize all the lies until it’s no surprise
When all your haters have been unmasked before your weary eyes
Don’t be deceived or you won’t retrieve
The spoils of the battle, the fruits of the seed…

You’re given the power because you can control –
You know your greatness so live by your soul!
Don’t be so shallow and burn with your pride
Open yourself and find Jesus inside
Raise up your head and on Heaven’s side
Lay down your armour and shine with your light!


Awarely Unaware

(Expressing for an anonymous friend)

I have proacted drama involuntarily, or so I say
Because my choices do not make me look good at all;
And Euthanasia disguised as Euphoria lays its stage,
Bringing forth all players in my head, all dressed as fools.
Their dialogues are noises, though one meaning they accord:
My fate is seared. I am not wanted. Please make it change!

…But I can never change her who
Had made me, at every second split,
Aware that I try to breathe
And aware that I’m unaware.


Schizophrenic Conference on Masochism

Pray be decrypted by no asylum mortal
Not everyone likes stars and twinkling objects savored by heavens
There are those alienated by reverie
And there are those who associate
Alienation with destruction –
Only their own.

Danced in the surfaces of the Sun.
It did not suffice.
Sickled folly and Cronian disguise;
Cold rock and hard ice;
All you wanted was Saturn’s rings
To have a path to render shadows for your wings
Or to make you stand out a little more
So you wrong yourself in circles; come and go.

Don’t go…

You’ve falsely been Venus in someone’s eyes and
Jaundiced one, yours opened sore.
What’s not to like when all suffering makes you strive
Strive to be alive?

Oh why transform into the cold-cloaked Pluto?
You’re more hollow than that.
Your message never even reached bankrupted Mercury
Who lost his celestial bindings when you changed the context.
Yes, you can bring a demi-god down.
Bring them all down.
There must be another way to make dear Mercury care
And not let your solitude cast his end.
Yes, you can raise up the fallen.
Feather the fallen.

Carry yourself and your hammered wings.

You feel Jovian yet you’re shrunk.
You felt Jovian and have sunk.
Didn’t you know that Jupiter’s just a button on his shirt?
Which he only touches to be bare and not?
So go swallow your heart,
Ego can sometimes be good to revive.
At least retrieve your livid mind from dead Mars.
And resign your threads on the oceans of Neptune.
You were allowed your own seas to brave and dread.
You were deprived your own seas but not allowed any other.
Go reside in newly-furnished nebula then,
Or garnish it and eat it like you’ve been starving for ethereal home.
Ignore his coming like some husband to our Mother Earth.
Immunize the consciousness to such plague.

You do have color, Earth.
Pastel skies surround you on an angels’ spree.
If only this fellow can watch it from your grounds…
Poor creature’s still left in outer space…

Gravity is not for me.

Don’t say that! Shut up!
Forget the milky way!
Unbecome the black hole…
Believe that your beloved sunshine’s infernal.
It’s really not so hard…
It’s really not too hard!

Damn wraith nametagged Gloom!
Pollux’s alpha twin crowned itself a constellation on its own
With big dreams to shatter the Great Bear with
While the little humble one remains more massive than the sun.
Time… Prelude.
Time. Time. Time!
Some myth for a scarce stallion mourns
An arrow that may never set off and soar…
And then there was
Sweet November.

Mercy. That’s the planet sent to exile
In a universe gone awry named…

What’s your name again?

Exist first to surrender.


Dunes

(A collaboration with Conrad Garcia)

Indistinct in the twilight,
The veiled bride moon.
Tales of rabid white lies
Whisper howls on the freezing desert plain;
Skies stripped of their stars, arousing handicapped sighs
That sometimes touch the infinity of sands
And wail through storms that peril no man
For no man was here—
Patiently the vultures drool
While much stranger things contemplate their kills.
Do the winds even know they can make or break the Earth;
Their tenacious movements so restless, refined in plains of aridity?
And oh… what else do they carry
Aside from a mass of emptiness
To proliferate that of the cold, retreating night?
There’s nothing to break so –
Some slacks come around the way of the scorpion
Far from what throbs and aches for their venom;
The dessert eagle glares, casting
On a detached carapace, the scowl of a rising flame.
And still, no man is here.
Spirits wail from where…
Valleys of disenchantment tell stories of fleeting passersby
Thorned and torn by the old worlds
Craven to the unfamiliar, spiteful to the new.


This Man

A sword of Light hand-made by God,
A hero to a numerous souls including his own
That his name is called forth a plenty
By countries united and tried
He is a league of nations on his own
With a radiant flag in poetry’s form
Storms of all sorts he did and would overcome
From sand and sea and where ever storms may be
This man, however,
Is more than a hero and more than an art to me…

In orients grand, and missions grander
He fulfills the good will of the Supreme Being
With the devoutest of brothers and fathers beside
Or as himself, a man of wonders to the right Law abides
Distinctly determined, actions squared by virtue’s square,
To mankind,in due bounds, rests his fire
Desires circumscribed and intent laid on ground
He humbles himself and Lords through service all lands
This man, however,
Is more than king and more than a knight to me…

Viably and profitably in any endeavor
The lives around count the most and weigh the most
His heartbeats’ glee math gave up calculating
And power of spirit Time deemed untouchable
He surely has stopped sacrificing and became the sacrifice
That love so pure unleashed the liveliest of divine sustenance
He strides with clouds and their shadows across all Earth,
Being nothing less than a blessing the Lord wants him to be
This man, however,
Is more than a blesser and more than a blessing to me…

A dragon no common myth could tale-tell, nor science disprove
And a bull no limited tradition or blood-dressed cloth accord
A glorious being that has risen above impossibilities
Who could wear crowns and not forget to let his bare feet touch the grass
No slave bound to the Illusion of three hands on figures
Yet his eyes sparkle out the gold and crystals where you’ll find them.
And he knows too much the truth of souls that masks do show
More than the human’s limited molding of its withering face
This man however,
Is more than a human and more than a soul to me.

He makes the stars worth wishing on
When he places them in my eyes, oh I don’t know how…
He could cast Hell frozen and its torments turn to bliss
No matter how often those firmaments attempt invasion on me
He gave me Life that no death can ever end
And Love that no hate can ever break or bend
His blood fuels my heart and his heart is a force of my soul
He is my friend, my protector, and Father above all
This man forever
Is more than anything and more than everything to me.

(For My Father)